Tears of Love
In the last post, we talked about healing with Life Force energy. Another way of looking at this is developing loving consciousness. Loving consciousness is not dependent upon circumstances. It is a choice. A choice that when lived fully, frees the heart from all manner of stress and distress. In Buddha’s teaching loving consciousness is composed of the four sublime attributes: compassion, loving kindness, appreciative joy, and equanimity. These are the four types of love, and four ways of cultivating love. Developing a loving consciousness is an important asset if working with healing is a consideration, and will lead one to the highest levels of possible development. This developing clears the mind of contradictory influences that impede tapping into life energy for healing and navigating skillfully through the experiences of life.
I have never met a more gentle, unassuming, reposed, kind, caring person than Shi Mai Ping. When I first met Shi Mai Ping I observed her left hand was turned in and that she cradled it like my mom did, who had cerebral palsy. Shi Mai Ping walked with a slight limp and her leg was also turned in. It was never clear whether this was because of being brutally attacked when she was trying to escape China, or if this was a condition from birth. Shi Mai Ping certainly had a history of being treated poorly for being “abnormal” during her early life in China.
Over the years I got to know her, it became clear that she was always concerned with the well-being of others and to seeing to their needs first, even if it meant she missed out on something herself. This was always her way, and this despite a harsh beginning in life.
One day, as I came into the dharma house from outside, I could hear what sounded like muffled crying. As I walked down the hall I could see from the doorway of the meditation room, Shi Mai Ping sobbing deeply and full heartedly. I had only seen her in the best of spirits and had never witnessed her being the slightest bit upset. She was sitting all the way across the room on the floor in front of a Buddha. Shi Mai Ping was such a loving person and here she was, so woefully crying. My heart reached out to her with deep concern wondering what could have upset her so. I was about to go over to ask her what had happened, and as I started to move, I felt a light tug on my sleeve.
Shi Chien Li had come from the other end of the dharma house. He beckoned me out to the back landing. There, Shi Chien Li revealed to me that when China first became communist, it had virtually destroyed all of the Buddhist communities within the country, very much like it has come to be known for doing in Tibet. Many atrocities occurred in the name of progress and intolerance. Many of the Buddhist teachers and students were killed. Numbers of Buddhists were tortured before being killed. Some of the Buddhist teachers and their students managed to escape the country.
Shi Mai Ping was a young disciple of Buddha when she attempted her escape from China. A group of soldiers caught her, severely beating her. The soldiers taunted Shi Mai Ping, making fun of her disability whilst stomping on her, breaking her hip, raping her repeatedly and leaving her for dead. After the soldiers left, a Buddhist family came out and took her to a safe place out in the countryside, hiding her at their own peril. For several months this family nursed her back to health. When Shi Mai Ping was well enough to travel, she went in disguise. Dressed as a young man and in the company of two older guides, across the country they went. No one took too much notice of her as they made their way. They purposely stayed well clear of populated areas. It was surmised that people had too much to deal with themselves, and the authorities thinking they had “eliminated the Buddhist threat”, were not so vigilant.
The occurrence of the assault was quietly told to me. Then, Shi Chien Li paused looking at me. It was clear to him that I still did not understand when he said it was the memory of that brutal attack that she was revisiting. Before I could say anything else Shi Chien Li added, “It is not for herself that she is crying. It is for the soldiers”.